You're obsessed with Viggo Mortensen (or Aragorn) if...
Let's get something straight before any more dumbasses read this and tell me I'm weird for being obsessed.
I am in no way, shape, or form obsessed with Viggo Mortensen.
Escape the Madness!
1. You attempt to grow some “manly stubble.”
2. You actually succeed in growing manly stubble.
3. You don’t wash for months at a time because he doesn’t.
4. You search for the elves so they can raise you.
5. You have watched all of his movies.
6. You argue with your friend about who is the faster rider (or, in these modern times, driver).
7. You lose on purpose because Aragorn lost the argument.
8. You attempt to speak Elvish with your friends.
9. You give yourself pointy ears like Arwen and parade around him, hoping that he will at least give you a hug.
10. You break a sword and get dwarves to re-forge it for you.
11. You consider yourself an important member of the Fellowship.
12. You abandon all use of a comb/brush.
13. You have said, “What’s a shower?” one too many times.
14. You break a tooth, and immediately ask for superglue to glue it back on.
15. A tall blonde guy and a short dwarf guy accompany you as you all run many leagues.
16. You get a sudden urge to buy a sword and name it Anduril.
17. You succumb to that urge.
18. You suddenly adopt a whole bunch of nicknames.
19. You have low confidence about your leadership abilities.
20. You have another urge to follow a midget wherever he goes until he decides to run away from you.
21. You send him some underwear and ask him to autograph it.
22. You frame his rejection letter and build a shrine around it.
23. You are flattered that he kept the underwear.
24. You have actually tried to make a life-size portrait of him from bottle caps.
25. You convince your president to have National Aragorn Day, where you don't have to go to school or work and just praise him for the whole day.
26. You have changed your screensaver, background, mouse cursor, buddy icon, etc. to a picture of him.
27. You have dialogues everyday consisting of Aragorn, you, your best friend, and his/her favorite character.
28. You run away from home frequently while dressed in raggedy clothes.
29. The whole school knows you like Aragorn.
30. (If you have a girlfriend) You give your girlfriend the nickname Arwen.
31. (If you have a boyfriend) You give your boyfriend the nickname Aragorn.
32. You run around school, waving your pocketknife and screaming, “ALL SHALL SURRENDER TO ANDURIL, FLAME OF THE WEST!!!!”
33. You are suspended for the above reason.
35. Your nickname is “Aragorn” regardless of your gender.
36. You call all of your enemies orcs.
37. You protect midgets.
38. You like an elf.
39. You actually know an elf.
40. You know the significance of millions of crows flying overhead.
41. You sit in the corner with a hood on.
My friend Marissa helped me with this, too.
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