Make your own free website on Tripod.com
Kill Harry Potter!
Escape the Madness!


By Magical Obizuth


You have just entered room "Kill Harry Potter."
Sangeetha has entered the room.
Melissa has entered the room.
Sharmi has entered the room.
Liz: Now, let us assign characters...
Liz: I get Draco!
Melissa: ok
*Liz grabs Draco off of the shelf*
Sangeetha: hmmm... I get Snape
*Liz winks*
Liz: Okay
*Snape walks to Sangeetha*
Sangeetha: minus greasy hair!
Snape: I washed yesterday.
Liz: your character can't be controlled by anyone else. it's a rule
Melissa: k
Melissa: but which should i get?
Liz: whoever
Sangeetha: get ronald... heehee
Melissa: hold on
Liz: Do you like Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, or Slytherins?
Sangeetha: NO...i NO THE PERFECT CHARCTER
Melissa: who?
Sangeetha: HARRY!
Sangeetha: heehee
Melissa: yup
*Liz cracks up*
Liz: which house do you like, Melissa?
Sangeetha: ravenclaw
Melissa: i dunno
Sangeetha: you can be cho chang!
Melissa: ok
Melissa: she can diss harry
*All cheer*
Sangeetha: but youll have a dead boyfriend who haunts you!
*Cho goes to stand beside Melissa*
Melissa: oh well
Sangeetha: ah well, thats life, as some smart person once said
Liz: Okay... I choose...
*Liz looks at her selection*
Liz: Can I have Nagini? (Note: Nagini is Voldemort's snake)
Melissa: ok. sure.
*Nagini slithers to Liz's side*
Sangeetha: heyyyy... not fair... you're getting first pick!
Liz: I own the company
Melissa: theres not much choice anyway
Liz: there's always the Basilisk...
Sangeetha: k, I'll have that
Liz: okay
*Basilisk walks to Sangeetha*
Melissa: what are the stuff that Fred and George make?
Liz: Canary Creams?
Liz: You can't use those, they aren't characters
Sangeetha: yah
Sangeetha: hey, my basilisk just killed something!
*Liz blinks*
Liz: *eagerly* Who???
Sangeetha: er.. Elizabeth's funeral
Liz: I can't die.
Melissa: I'll have a toothpick
Liz: *Glares at Melissa* You can't have a toothpick. It's not special enough.
Melissa: ok...
*Liz winks*
Melissa: filibusters fireworks
Liz: You're supposed to pick a CHARACTER! *thinks* There's always Voldemort
Melissa: PERCY
Liz: Ummm... okay
Melissa: no
Liz: You want Percy?!
Melissa: no
Liz: Thank God
Sangeetha: remember... Liz has a crush on him
Melissa: I'll stick with Cho
Sharmi: i shall be...
Liz: hey
Sangeetha: you do!
Draco: Nonsense.
Sangeetha: it's okay, we'll only tell the world!
Sharmi: man i wanted to be draco
Sharmi: ill be...
Liz: Too bad. I'm already Draco
Liz: I also took Nagini. I am also Elizabeth
Sharmi: I'm a Hufflepuff
Melissa: i am Cho with the fireworks
Sharmi: oLgA's Hufflepuff godliness, by Sharmi, the best ever
Liz: dude, it's all about the Slytherins!
Sharmi: who can levitate stuff faster then Liz
*High-fives all Slytherins*
Sharmi: AW HELL NO
Liz: Shut up...
Sharmi: YOU KNOW HUFFLEPUFF ROCKS
sea75enchantress: ANYWHO...
Sangeetha: Draco's hair is, like gelled over, making IT greasy
Liz: SLYTHERINS ROCK THE WORLD!
Liz: What the heck? Draco's hair isn't greasy!
Sharmi: PINK
Sangeetha: YEA...SLYTHERINS!
Sharmi: PINK PINK PINK
Draco: Movie Draco is ugly.
Sangeetha: got that?
*Enter Harry*
*Enter Ron*
Liz: LET THE TORTURING BEGIN!
*Enter Dork*
Liz: no!
Sharmi: I'm Voldemort
Liz: we have enough dorks around.
Sangeetha: ohhhhhh... superdiss!
*Exit Dork*
Harry: Golly Gee Swell, Ron! Where are we this time?
Ron: GOSH HARRY I DUNNO
*Harry notices all the shiny, pointy objects surrounding him*
Sangeetha: knives!
Draco: What do you think, Pothead?
Melissa: pitchforks
Sangeetha: sugar+knives=fun!
Ron: HEY HARRY THOSE ARE SURE PRETTY!
Nagini: Hello, child... *hisses*
Harry: Hey! My mom is NOT a *hisses*
Ron: HEY ITS TALKING TO YOU HARRY!
Snape: dies with laughter over that superbly corny joke!
Ron: THATS SOOOOOOO COOL
Draco: Professor Snape, you can't die yet...
Cho: uh...
*Basilik comes slythering over*
*Draco grins*
Cho: oh look, a basilisk
*Enter Voldemort*
Draco: *to Ron* No duh, little weasel
Voldemort: YOU DARE START WITHOUT ME?
Melissa: yes
*Everybody (or whosever wants to) apologizes*
*Everybody else is like 'whatever!'*
Sangeetha: of corse, your liege
Wormtail: DON'T HURT ME DON'T HURT ME!
Snape: I was your prize Death Eater!
Nagini: ssssssorry
Nagini: You? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Nagini: But back to YOU... *turns back to Harry*
Sangeetha: you call yerself a snake, ye roadkill cat!
Voldemort: I WANT A REALLY BIG GUN
Snape: continue on, we shall continue our little "discussion" later
*Enter Sirius*
*Enter 18 wheeler*
Nagini: You looked better in the green dress and vulture hat.
Voldemort: I want a PRETTY realy big gun
*Liz gives Voldemort the Magical Bag of Stuff (MBS)*
Voldemort: It's YELLOW and PINK!
*Sirius stands in front of 18 wheeler*
*18 wheeler goes VROOM VROOM*
Voldemort: I HAVE BECOME A HUFFLEPUFF/SLYTHERIN (Side note: Voldemort was being controlled by Sharmi the Hufflepuff, but he couldn't exactly turn into a Hufflepuff...)
*Liz sighs in exasperation*
Melissa: slytherpuff
Liz: GREEN AND SILVER, YOU FOOL!
Voldemort: YES PRECISELY
Snape: eh, roadkill frog..erm..snake
*Harry and Ron wait to be tortured*
Voldemort: fine Silver and PINK
*Sirius gets run ver by 18 wheeler*
*Exit 18 wheeler*
*Nagini smiles, showing his big poisonous fangs*
*All cheer for 18 wheeler*
*Baskilisk comes, staring into Nagini's eyes*
*Both turn to stone*
Harry: Now I really don't have a family! Maybe I'll be even more of a stupid kid celebrity!
*Gets Liz's MBS and pulls out pretty really big pink and silver gun*
*Both come back, wearing sunglasses*
*Liz cracks up*
Snape: laughes and starts choking on a piece of goose liver
Melissa: eww
Liz: ugga
Voldemort: GOOSE LIVER?
Cho: yeah
Ron: WOW GOOSE LIVER IS COOL
Harry: I like goose liver. I want some, Professor Snape!
Snape: I don't give food to idiots. You should know that by now
*Draco uses the Cruciatus Curse on Harry and watches in interest as Harry writhes around on the ground in pain*
Sharmi: To kick the harry means to have tremendous amounts of fun torturing someone
Sharmi: ron=stupid (stupid is the only big word he noes)
Harry = Stupider (Harry don't know no good English, even though he lives in England)
*Cho uses the Imperius curse and makes harry run headlong into a brick wall*
*All cheer*
Liz: Wait
Liz: he's busy writhing on the ground in pain.
Melissa: he got up
Liz: oh.
Snape: u no wot, arry, u speek in a weahd way.
Melissa: or he was doing both at the same time
Draco: I still haven't removed the curse.
*Liz ponders this very interesting idea*
Melissa: all the better
Ron: Hey i heard that Canada got gold! How did they get all the way over there to over in Salt Lake State?
Draco: Potter isn't a very good dancer. *Sneers*
*Sangeetha decides to test basilisk's powers on Liz and everyone else*
Melissa: they did?
Liz: I cannot be harmed.
Liz: Yes, they did.
Melissa: yay!
*Ron thinks that Canada is in Mars and that there is a state called Salt Lake*
Liz: *Points at Harry and Ron* THEM, Sangeetha!
Liz: *Points at Ron* HIM
Sangeetha: kkk... I get the point
*Snape does a very refined curse and they almost fall dead, but since they are always at the right place at the right time they come back alive by stupid pheonix tears*
*Liz blinks*
*Enter Hermione*
Hermione: Harry! Ron! What are you doing here?! We might be killed here, or worse, expelled!!!!
Snape: Hermione, my FAVORITE student
*Fawkes gets on a sugar high and attacks Hermoine*
Hermione: Oh, Professor Snape!!!!!! Help me! My knight in shining armor! Rescue me!!!!
*Draco watches in amusement*
*Cho smiles at Fawkes*
Snape: puts the ____________ curse on her
(use your imagination!)
Hermione: DRACO MY LOVE!!
Melissa: if only J.K. Rowling could see us now!
*Draco takes off the Cruciatus Curse*
Liz: yeah... we'd be murdered
*Basilisk breaks from stone and starts eating fifteen year old cheddar*
*Harry continues running headlong into a brick wall*
Nagini: *gasps* CHEDDAR!!!!!!!
*Harry smashes into cheddar*
Melissa: very sharp cheddar, mind you
*Nagini asks the basilisk if they can share... please?*
Sangeetha: the poor cheddar
Melissa: yes
Nagini: I don't have a sense of smell.
Basilisk: *to the barney song* sure, lets be friends
Nagini: *looks sad* I can't eat any now...
*All break onto song*
*Liz, Nagini, and Draco back away from the basilisk very cautiously*
Melissa: oh give me a home
Sangeetha: sing a happy happy happy happy happy happy song
Ron: I want to dance to Tellibies! (Side Note: He's too dumb to say "Tellitubbies")
Melissa: where the buffalo wings roam
Harry: Golly, I sure love brick walls!
Sangeetha: sing a happy (repeats indefinitely) song
Melissa: where the beer and the cantaloupe play
Melissa: where salmon is tart
Basilisk: mmmm... real California cheese...mmmm
*Liz grabs the MBS and rummages through it*
Melissa: and it makes you wanna fart
Nagini: I want real California cheese!
Melissa: and the skiy rains candy all day
Melissa: California... its the cheese
Basilisk: stares evilly at all who want cheese
Draco: Candy!!!! *Swarm of owls deliver tons of candy to him. They're from all of his admirers*
*Nagini shrugs and gets his own cheese*
*Enter Hedwig*
Sangeetha: heehee
*Nagini gets Gouda!*
*Hedwig is on sugar high and attacks Hermione*
Sharmi: I'm gonna leave
Sharmi has left the room.
Melissa: me2
Sangeetha: n--o-o-o-o-o-o
Liz: *watches interesting scene* Hermione's already being attacked...
Liz: nooooooooo!
*Hedwig lands on top of Basilisk!*
Melissa: bye bye
*Liz gives Melissa a machine gun and BEGS her to stay*
Melissa: I can't. Mommy's mad now
Liz: 2 machine guns?
Melissa: no
Liz: bye, then
Melissa has left the room.
Sangeetha: I must go too, sorry
Sangeetha: bye!
Sangeetha has left the room.

(FYI: Those are not our actual AIM screen names; Liz actually went and changed them all into real names. Yeah, she doesn't really have a life, but she does have an awful lot of spare time.)

Escape the Madness!

Back to the Top
(In case you're one of those oddballs who wants to read it again)