Kill Harry Potter!
Escape the Madness!
You have just entered room "Kill Harry Potter."
Sangeetha has entered the room.
Melissa has entered the room.
Sharmi has entered the room.
Liz: Now, let us assign characters...
Liz: I get Draco!
*Liz grabs Draco off of the shelf*
Sangeetha: hmmm... I get Snape
*Snape walks to Sangeetha*
Sangeetha: minus greasy hair!
Snape: I washed yesterday.
Liz: your character can't be controlled by anyone else. it's a rule
Melissa: but which should i get?
Sangeetha: get ronald... heehee
Melissa: hold on
Liz: Do you like Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, or Slytherins?
Sangeetha: NO...i NO THE PERFECT CHARCTER
*Liz cracks up*
Liz: which house do you like, Melissa?
Melissa: i dunno
Sangeetha: you can be cho chang!
Melissa: she can diss harry
Sangeetha: but youll have a dead boyfriend who haunts you!
*Cho goes to stand beside Melissa*
Melissa: oh well
Sangeetha: ah well, thats life, as some smart person once said
Liz: Okay... I choose...
*Liz looks at her selection*
Liz: Can I have Nagini? (Note: Nagini is Voldemort's snake)
Melissa: ok. sure.
*Nagini slithers to Liz's side*
Sangeetha: heyyyy... not fair... you're getting first pick!
Liz: I own the company
Melissa: theres not much choice anyway
Liz: there's always the Basilisk...
Sangeetha: k, I'll have that
*Basilisk walks to Sangeetha*
Melissa: what are the stuff that Fred and George make?
Liz: Canary Creams?
Liz: You can't use those, they aren't characters
Sangeetha: hey, my basilisk just killed something!
Liz: *eagerly* Who???
Sangeetha: er.. Elizabeth's funeral
Liz: I can't die.
Melissa: I'll have a toothpick
Liz: *Glares at Melissa* You can't have a toothpick. It's not special enough.
Melissa: filibusters fireworks
Liz: You're supposed to pick a CHARACTER! *thinks* There's always Voldemort
Liz: Ummm... okay
Liz: You want Percy?!
Liz: Thank God
Sangeetha: remember... Liz has a crush on him
Melissa: I'll stick with Cho
Sharmi: i shall be...
Sangeetha: you do!
Sangeetha: it's okay, we'll only tell the world!
Sharmi: man i wanted to be draco
Sharmi: ill be...
Liz: Too bad. I'm already Draco
Liz: I also took Nagini. I am also Elizabeth
Sharmi: I'm a Hufflepuff
Melissa: i am Cho with the fireworks
Sharmi: oLgA's Hufflepuff godliness, by Sharmi, the best ever
Liz: dude, it's all about the Slytherins!
Sharmi: who can levitate stuff faster then Liz
*High-fives all Slytherins*
Sharmi: AW HELL NO
Liz: Shut up...
Sharmi: YOU KNOW HUFFLEPUFF ROCKS
Sangeetha: Draco's hair is, like gelled over, making IT greasy
Liz: SLYTHERINS ROCK THE WORLD!
Liz: What the heck? Draco's hair isn't greasy!
Sharmi: PINK PINK PINK
Draco: Movie Draco is ugly.
Sangeetha: got that?
Liz: LET THE TORTURING BEGIN!
Sharmi: I'm Voldemort
Liz: we have enough dorks around.
Sangeetha: ohhhhhh... superdiss!
Harry: Golly Gee Swell, Ron! Where are we this time?
Ron: GOSH HARRY I DUNNO
*Harry notices all the shiny, pointy objects surrounding him*
Draco: What do you think, Pothead?
Ron: HEY HARRY THOSE ARE SURE PRETTY!
Nagini: Hello, child... *hisses*
Harry: Hey! My mom is NOT a *hisses*
Ron: HEY ITS TALKING TO YOU HARRY!
Snape: dies with laughter over that superbly corny joke!
Ron: THATS SOOOOOOO COOL
Draco: Professor Snape, you can't die yet...
*Basilik comes slythering over*
Cho: oh look, a basilisk
Draco: *to Ron* No duh, little weasel
Voldemort: YOU DARE START WITHOUT ME?
*Everybody (or whosever wants to) apologizes*
*Everybody else is like 'whatever!'*
Sangeetha: of corse, your liege
Wormtail: DON'T HURT ME DON'T HURT ME!
Snape: I was your prize Death Eater!
Nagini: You? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Nagini: But back to YOU... *turns back to Harry*
Sangeetha: you call yerself a snake, ye roadkill cat!
Voldemort: I WANT A REALLY BIG GUN
Snape: continue on, we shall continue our little "discussion" later
*Enter 18 wheeler*
Nagini: You looked better in the green dress and vulture hat.
Voldemort: I want a PRETTY realy big gun
*Liz gives Voldemort the Magical Bag of Stuff (MBS)*
Voldemort: It's YELLOW and PINK!
*Sirius stands in front of 18 wheeler*
*18 wheeler goes VROOM VROOM*
Voldemort: I HAVE BECOME A HUFFLEPUFF/SLYTHERIN (Side note: Voldemort was being controlled by Sharmi the Hufflepuff, but he couldn't exactly turn into a Hufflepuff...)
*Liz sighs in exasperation*
Liz: GREEN AND SILVER, YOU FOOL!
Voldemort: YES PRECISELY
Snape: eh, roadkill frog..erm..snake
*Harry and Ron wait to be tortured*
Voldemort: fine Silver and PINK
*Sirius gets run ver by 18 wheeler*
*Exit 18 wheeler*
*Nagini smiles, showing his big poisonous fangs*
*All cheer for 18 wheeler*
*Baskilisk comes, staring into Nagini's eyes*
*Both turn to stone*
Harry: Now I really don't have a family! Maybe I'll be even more of a stupid kid celebrity!
*Gets Liz's MBS and pulls out pretty really big pink and silver gun*
*Both come back, wearing sunglasses*
*Liz cracks up*
Snape: laughes and starts choking on a piece of goose liver
Voldemort: GOOSE LIVER?
Ron: WOW GOOSE LIVER IS COOL
Harry: I like goose liver. I want some, Professor Snape!
Snape: I don't give food to idiots. You should know that by now
*Draco uses the Cruciatus Curse on Harry and watches in interest as Harry writhes around on the ground in pain*
Sharmi: To kick the harry means to have tremendous amounts of fun torturing someone
Sharmi: ron=stupid (stupid is the only big word he noes)
Harry = Stupider (Harry don't know no good English, even though he lives in England)
*Cho uses the Imperius curse and makes harry run headlong into a brick wall*
Liz: he's busy writhing on the ground in pain.
Melissa: he got up
Snape: u no wot, arry, u speek in a weahd way.
Melissa: or he was doing both at the same time
Draco: I still haven't removed the curse.
*Liz ponders this very interesting idea*
Melissa: all the better
Ron: Hey i heard that Canada got gold! How did they get all the way over there to over in Salt Lake State?
Draco: Potter isn't a very good dancer. *Sneers*
*Sangeetha decides to test basilisk's powers on Liz and everyone else*
Melissa: they did?
Liz: I cannot be harmed.
Liz: Yes, they did.
*Ron thinks that Canada is in Mars and that there is a state called Salt Lake*
Liz: *Points at Harry and Ron* THEM, Sangeetha!
Liz: *Points at Ron* HIM
Sangeetha: kkk... I get the point
*Snape does a very refined curse and they almost fall dead, but since they are always at the right place at the right time they come back alive by stupid pheonix tears*
Hermione: Harry! Ron! What are you doing here?! We might be killed here, or worse, expelled!!!!
Snape: Hermione, my FAVORITE student
*Fawkes gets on a sugar high and attacks Hermoine*
Hermione: Oh, Professor Snape!!!!!! Help me! My knight in shining armor! Rescue me!!!!
*Draco watches in amusement*
*Cho smiles at Fawkes*
Snape: puts the ____________ curse on her
(use your imagination!)
Hermione: DRACO MY LOVE!!
Melissa: if only J.K. Rowling could see us now!
*Draco takes off the Cruciatus Curse*
Liz: yeah... we'd be murdered
*Basilisk breaks from stone and starts eating fifteen year old cheddar*
*Harry continues running headlong into a brick wall*
Nagini: *gasps* CHEDDAR!!!!!!!
*Harry smashes into cheddar*
Melissa: very sharp cheddar, mind you
*Nagini asks the basilisk if they can share... please?*
Sangeetha: the poor cheddar
Nagini: I don't have a sense of smell.
Basilisk: *to the barney song* sure, lets be friends
Nagini: *looks sad* I can't eat any now...
*All break onto song*
*Liz, Nagini, and Draco back away from the basilisk very cautiously*
Melissa: oh give me a home
Sangeetha: sing a happy happy happy happy happy happy song
Ron: I want to dance to Tellibies! (Side Note: He's too dumb to say "Tellitubbies")
Melissa: where the buffalo wings roam
Harry: Golly, I sure love brick walls!
Sangeetha: sing a happy (repeats indefinitely) song
Melissa: where the beer and the cantaloupe play
Melissa: where salmon is tart
Basilisk: mmmm... real California cheese...mmmm
*Liz grabs the MBS and rummages through it*
Melissa: and it makes you wanna fart
Nagini: I want real California cheese!
Melissa: and the skiy rains candy all day
Melissa: California... its the cheese
Basilisk: stares evilly at all who want cheese
Draco: Candy!!!! *Swarm of owls deliver tons of candy to him. They're from all of his admirers*
*Nagini shrugs and gets his own cheese*
*Nagini gets Gouda!*
*Hedwig is on sugar high and attacks Hermione*
Sharmi: I'm gonna leave
Sharmi has left the room.
Liz: *watches interesting scene* Hermione's already being attacked...
*Hedwig lands on top of Basilisk!*
Melissa: bye bye
*Liz gives Melissa a machine gun and BEGS her to stay*
Melissa: I can't. Mommy's mad now
Liz: 2 machine guns?
Liz: bye, then
Melissa has left the room.
Sangeetha: I must go too, sorry
Sangeetha has left the room.
(FYI: Those are not our actual AIM screen names; Liz actually went and changed them all into real names. Yeah, she doesn't really have a life, but she does have an awful lot of spare time.)
Escape the Madness!
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(In case you're one of those oddballs who wants to read it again)