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The "Email Forwarder's" 12 Step Program -

More Madness or Escape the Madness!

** I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an email!

** I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.

** Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.

** Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!

** I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.

** I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ... NEVER --NEVER !!

** There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!

** There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.

** The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.

** There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!!

** The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

** And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in God. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!

** Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out! JUST KIDDING...

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