Top 50 Things to do in a Final Exam
Escape the Madness or Find More Madness!
50 Fun things to do in a final that does not matter (i.e. you are
going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15
minutes. Wake up, say, "oh geez, better get cracking," and do
some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've
got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is
long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be
creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the
instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud,
debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop,
yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start
talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it,
loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this.
I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal?
And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume
at max level.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting
way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to
answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my
religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a
sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say, "They've found me, I
have to leave the country," and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the
papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell
out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another
copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process
every fifteen minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on
your head, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the
exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know
one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not
looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to
be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the
instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor
to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move
to another seat, continue with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you
walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and
true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out
interesting things (DCCAB.BABE. etc..).
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and
answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down
violently, scream out, "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the
instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all
leaving after one hour to go drink)
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some
point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy)
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor
asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb
that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a
28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30
minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling, "I'm here, the
phantom of the opera," until they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you
know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize
you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture.
Fight for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over. While laughing loudly,
say, "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel?
Days of our Lives is on!!!"
32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy.
Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they
finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the
theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest
proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers
into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything
to your own life story.
36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way
through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have
38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is
obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise
you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and
staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the
attached notes for references as you see fit."
39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to
any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like
they do before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to
you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc...
sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks,
chairs, anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards
at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If
you are asked to stop, say, "it helps me think." Bring a copy of
the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find
the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to
use the phrase, "Told you so."
50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx
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